• Support groups and workshops focused on LGBTQ+

• Provider list of therapists with LGBTQ+ experience

• Resources specific for LGBTQ+

• Healthcare provider education

• The website: Making website a LGBTQ+ affirming space (pronouns, removing heteronormative language)

Issues facing LGBTQ+ families

• Systemic discrimination in health care

• Systemic discrimination in society

• Access to community support

• Access to health care providers with experience

• Fertility/Pregnancy journey challenges

• Support for non-birthing parent

• Financial concerns around family building

• Health concerns for transgender and gender non-conforming families

• Identifying the birthing parents

• Not easy to “try again” – fertility journey financial and emotional burnout

The Fertility Experience for LGBTQ+ Couples

We know that the fertility experience for LGBTQ+ couples is complex and are hoping to normalize parts of this journey for you so that you feel less alone and more supported with information, tools, and resources.

Fertility Experience

• Embarking on the fertility process is filled with anxiety. 

• Your experience can be dependent upon your relationship with your doctor and comfort level with the clinic. If you’re not comfortable with your providers, it is your right to switch doctors (within the same clinic) or move to a differing clinic.

• Understand that statistics are just statistics. Your family is unique and will have its own experience and timeline.  

• It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the fertility process. Don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions throughout the journey. 

• It’s important to advocate for yourself. Trust your intuition. It’s common to ask for advocacy support from a partner, family member, or friend. 

• For non-birthing parents, be sure to speak up if you feel that your concerns, opinions, etc. are not considered, or perhaps "brushed-off' by a doctor who may not view you as integral to the process.

• Medical language is often abrasive and insensitive, discounting your lived experience.

• There is loss and grief in many parts of the fertility journey that can occur, even before a pregnancy. Give yourself permission to grieve the various losses (i.e., genetic test results, egg viability, embryo viability, pregnancy attempts)

• Allow yourself to have hope for the future. 

• You and your partner can be in very different places at the exact same time. Honor that you have both individual and shared journeys during this process.

• You’re not alone in this journey. Many medical providers care about you. They are invested in, have hope for, and grieve alongside your family.

• You don’t have to go through your fertility journey in isolation. It can be helpful to seek out support from a mental health provider and/or support group, as well as family and friends.

• Know that the process of trying to get pregnant will likely not be a private one, particularly if you end up needing to do more extensive fertility treatments. Having support from family and friends can be crucial. However, questions asked with good intention can be a constant reminder of something that already takes up such a huge part of your life. 

Financial costs of fertility treatments

• The fertility process can be very expensive, and insurance coverage varies for fertility treatments. 

• It is important to think about how much you are willing to go through and spend to get pregnant. Will you only try to become pregnant through IUIs or are you willing to spend the money on IVF?  

• Your insurance may have dollar and/or  attempt limits. You will have to pay money out of pocket.

• Fertility loans can be an option. 

• Review your medical billing regularly. Do not fail to question charges and coverage (i.e., the insurance company, doctor’s office).

Self-care

• Don’t neglect yourself. You may feel as if you want to focus on your partner, but remember to also help yourself.

• You have experienced the heartbreaking loss of your baby. 

• You deserve to receive the support you need. 

• You often have separate experiences. They are both valid and real.

• You may benefit from a support group, therapy, and/or medication.

Your partner’s health and wellbeing

• Know that your partner is going through a physical and emotional experience.

• The physical aspects of pregnancy and birth, combined with the trauma of losing a baby, can lead to Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADS).

• Become educated about PMADS and be aware of the risk factors. 

• Be prepared to support your partner during this time.

• Find a support group and therapist.

• Be open to medication.